Unavailable

What if you are unavailable to yourself?

The mind occupied

With thoughts that are not about you

The heart beating silently

Your talents offered

Without a care for reward

You stand detached from action

The act of waiting for your turn to come-

For the time when you will be available

To attend to yourself

-has an incredible power…

It sustains you without

All the things you thought were necessary…

Worry…Self-concern…Validation…

…the time to exist just for yourself…

Without them as your cause to be

You stand in effect

Freed from all the limitations

That define your littleness.

 

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Do You Want To Know What Love Is?

That we feel love- is a unanimous fact. But how it prompts us to act and react seems to be individually determined. My state of mind determines whether I perceive love as a need, as an attachment or as pleasurable affection.  Does everything good, pleasing and gratifying indicate the presence of love and all that is painful, difficult and demanding- its absence? Why do we forge relationships out of love’s will and end them on ours? And then, why is every love story- with fiery, passionate beginnings- fated for an eventual separation, either physically or emotionally? Does a long-standing relationship indicate love’s blessing and a short-lived one its curse? And when our ‘affairs’ end, what changes mark our new beginnings?

How disintegrated and complex is the adult human heart! And in true inverse proportion how simple and effortless are the ways of children! Why is it so easy to love a child and so difficult to love an adult?

Children make no ‘conditions’ by which they shall ‘trade’ love. They don’t set out to make its laws; neither do they contemplate them; they simply follow them. Adults, on the other hand, have developed a mind and the mind as such, is characterized by memories, ideas, needs, desires and attachments. To love another adult requires a constant examination and purification of one’s emotions. As adults, we feel loved when we are understood, respected, trusted, attended to, wanted and desired. Love- if we allow it to have its way- will eventually re-acquaint and align us with our own hearts.

Love’s fulfillment lies in two becoming one whole and then eventually, one whole realizing that it always was, is and will always be- All.  For the individual, love fulfils the needs- not of the ego, but of the soul. Love, in the adult human mind, begins as a furtherance, an extending out of your self; and is experienced as a fuller presence. In wanting to repeat and recall the experience of that fuller presence, we embark on a journey marked with rejections, trials and antagonisms. In and through those experiences, through every changing emotion, through every triumph of the spirit, we stand re-acquainted and fully aware of our essence. Love extracts out of you your full worth.

Which is why, sometimes even after a relationship has ended, your new beginning is marked- not with a sense of loss, but with a sense of gain. You sense a growth, re-discover your self-esteem, develop greater self-reliance, become more responsible, realize your faith and cultivate the ability to endure, tolerate and be patient. You plumb your depths and find within you unbelievable strength and courage. Love’s path is an upward path. Falling in love is a weakness of the human heart and rising in it- its strength. Love begins as affection and is fulfilled with realization of the Self. When you discover and realize within you- self-confidence, courage, faith, independence, tolerance and patience- then only do you gain a full awareness of love within you. Love then, ceases to be a thirst and becomes the fountainhead of every action that flows out of you. Simply put, it transforms from being the problem to now being the solution.

Till We Meet Again…

I wish you’d leave
I’d like to be alone

In a time and space
Freed of the need
To be guarded

Right now
I don’t want to care
For what you will think or feel
I just want to
Touch base with myself

But then in my solitude
I find myself searching
For that permanence
That’s supposed to be me
…A me without you.

What an ache there is
To find no such thing
Just a hope that one day
When the curtains come down
On the drama of our lives

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What Remains When All Ends

Each experience

Is like a short film

 

A fixed-duration sound and light show.

 

My life is an illusory line

Composed of short-lived segments

 

Everything with a beginning is fated for an end.

 

All that I know

At some point fades into the darkness of what I don’t

 

Every day ends in a dark night.

 

In and through short-lived experiences

The experience of experiencing has persisted

 

With all that changed, this alone has remained.

 

 

 

The Right Effort

Effort is conscious action. It is however important to understand where and at what point must one start making an effort. For example, if I try making an effort to be a ‘good’ human being, I may begin my search with the question: What are the qualities of a good human being? How do we spot or identify a good human being? How does a ‘good’ human being act? How does he meet life’s challenges? And yet, despite gathering ‘data’ that answers these questions, all my efforts at being good somehow seem superficial. I feel the need for a truer transformation. I somehow feel certain that what is called for is a single change, that will by inherent virtue, change all that is a misconception; like how darkness disappears in the presence of light. The primary effort that one therefore needs to make is to come to know that which is flawed, that which is untrue. It’s in coming to know the untrue, that truth asserts itself.

Knowledge alone can support effort. The effort is right when it’s objective is the removal of ignorance. We must bear in mind what we’re seeking is not a prosthetic gain, but a restoration.

NOW

I suspect that

There’s no other time

Apart from NOW.

 

Your memories and

Your dreams

Live only in the NOW.

 

You can’t be better than

Or more prepared than

You already are…NOW.

 

How you will be tomorrow

Is how you are

Today…in this moment…NOW.

 

The most important people

Exist in your life

Right here, right NOW.

 

To wait in hope

Is to hold your breath

Inhale and exhale…NOW.

 

To grow is not a future plan

It is to fill up

The space of NOW.